please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
