There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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