how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I enjoy the company of your penis
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