They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
