dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
