is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
