i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
