yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
