Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
sex in a hospital.. check
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
