I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
