All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
