love makes seman taste better
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
