Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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