Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I have post one night stand depression
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