I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
