Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
