and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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