Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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