that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
