no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We left an ass print on the piano.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
