Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
