i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Randomize
