he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
