Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
