dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
she smelled like a LAN party
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
