well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i can't believe i had my finger in that
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
there is glitter all over my balls
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
