I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize
