I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
