i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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