I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
