You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
What changed your mind?
Being sober
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
