You're so nebulous sometimes
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
