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• (925): View more from California

  when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.

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• (807): View more from Ontario

  I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.

  (1-651): View more from Minnesota

  It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.

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• (315): View more from New York

  Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.

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• (551): View more from New Jersey

  Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.

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