i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
