I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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