i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
