I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
