I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
