She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
