Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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