I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
