He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
