please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
