party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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