ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Shame is for Republicans.
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