maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
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