Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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