I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize