...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We don't watch enough power rangers
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
