I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
