I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize