on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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