Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
