Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
