Pappa wants mamma naked
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
