You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
