What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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