HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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