so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
