I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize