It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'm always down for nudity.
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