Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I currently don't understand fingers.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
