my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
